Here are some other reasons you may want to think twice about hiring your friend.
It May Not Be Fair To Your Friend
Your friend deserves the best chance at workplace success, just like you do. By accepting a job with some level of personal entanglement, he has complicated his life too. Not only will others wonder if he got the job on his own merit, he’ll have a harder time proving himself to the team. He’ll wonder if his coworkers are candid in his presence, since people might clam up if they think their comments will quickly reach your ears. This keeps him from fully participating in the work team and may keep him from getting the information he needs to be successful. One kind of information he will likely miss is truthful feedback about his performance, because team members only give honest feedback to one another when they feel safe. His friendship with you may threaten their safety.
Its Hard to Be Objective
And anyway, how objective can you really be about this person? You have insider information about him that can’t help but cloud your judgment. Depending on the mistake you make this might work for him or it could work against him. For example, if you know that he struggles to maintain his diet and exercise resolutions, you might unfairly consider his workplace follow-through suspect; this is being unnecessarily tough on him. Or since you know just how tough his childhood was you might give him the benefit of the doubt way too often; this is being too lenient and not holding him accountable. Other employee’s motivation will drop if they perceive that the friend/employee plays under a different set of rules. Your lack of objectivity can become a real problem if you are comparing his performance to that of his peers, recommending him for a special assignment or doling out pay raises. There’s also the question of whether he will be willing and able to receive performance feedback from you and whether you will be willing and able to receive performance feedback from him. It could be difficult for both of you.
Relationship Limits Precedents
There’s plenty of precedent for limiting personal relationships in the workplace. The military has a long tradition of limiting relationships between officers and enlisted personnel, something they call anti-fraternization. In investigating whether a relationship between two persons has violated military policy, several factors are considered. If the relationships “compromises the chain of command, results in the appearance of partiality or otherwise undermines good order, discipline, authority or morale” those involved may be punished.
Many corporations, too, have anti-fraternization policies which strictly limit relationships with competitors, thus avoiding even the appearance of impropriety. Others prohibit dating or cohabiting between employees. However, legal provisions of the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA) guarantee employees to right to self-organize and discuss terms and conditions of employment so anti-fraternization policies go too far if they severely restrict employee friendships outside of work.
In our court system, judges are expected to recuse themselves (to disqualify themselves from presiding over a proceeding) if they have a conflict of interest or a personal involvement in the matter. The judge reviews the general facts of the case and determines whether or not he or she can truly be impartial, declining to rule if not objective.
But maybe you just want to try to make it work anyway. How to do that follows in Part 3 of Should You Work with Friends.
–Jean
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Jean Houston Shore works with organizations that want their people to work together better. She can be reached at 770-643-9724, by email at jean@thinkbusiness.com or through her website at www.working-together-better.com.
Copyright © 2010, Jean Houston Shore, Business Resource Group. All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used without prior written permission.
