So let’s say you’ve read Parts 1 and 2 of this article series and you’ve thought carefully about the situation from all angles. Here’s your task list for managing the situation effectively.
Ways to Make It Work
If you and your friend decide to move forward with transforming your personal friendship into a professional relationship, here are some tips for making it work:
- Avoid the temptation to hide your pre-existing relationship from other workers. While simply pretending there is no entanglement might seem expedient, you’ll likely be found out. Not disclosing the relationship will destroy the trust others have placed in both of you. Don’t hide the facts.
- Let the new hire stand on his own and encourage him to prove his qualifications as quickly as possible. Instruct him to get up to speed as fast as he can. Tell team members to expect him to contribute. If practical, assign a team member to acclimate him to the work processes; do not give him special treatment or more-than-usual personalized attention.
- Jointly define new boundaries with your friend and his spouse about what will and will not be discussed in personal friendship time. Recognize that one employee’s spouse may speak too freely to the other employee’s spouse and jeopardize both the work and personal relationships. Strictly honor these new boundaries.
- Also define what is and is not appropriate communication during work time. The pranks, lightheartedness and fun that characterize friendships can seriously confuse established work patterns and undermine credibility if others perceive that professionalism is lacking between the two of you.
- Monitor the impact that the new hire (your friend) is having on the workplace. Give feedback to him or to others if things are not going well.
- Agree in advance to let the friendship and/or the working relationship end with dignity and honor if it must. Commit to one another that, even if things do not work out as well as hoped, both of you will refer to one another respectfully and with gratefulness for having explored the opportunity.
While many studies show the mental and physical benefits of social connectedness, recent research shows that the average Americans’ circle of friends continues to shrink. If the friend who is hinting that he’d like a job is one of your inner circle, a confidant with whom you’d discuss important personal matters, use caution when putting that relationship at risk.
Please share your comments. And keep on Working Together Better!
–Jean
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Jean Houston Shore works with organizations that want their people to work together better. She can be reached at 770-643-9724, by email at jean@thinkbusiness.com or through her website at www.working-together-better.com.
Copyright © 2010, Jean Houston Shore, Business Resource Group. All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used without prior written permission.
