You’ve hopefully read my digest of Top Ten Mistakes Young People Make at Work – Part 1. Here we continue with mistakes 6 – 10. See what you think.

Any Foot Forward

The mistake is in not consciously stepping out with your best self every time. No one works for long without making some bad choices. The thing that matters most is that you approach each situation trying to do your best. Younger workers sometimes engage other workers in a haphazard, unpredictable way. This wastes a huge reputation building opportunity. When people don’t know you well they are forming their opinions based on whatever they see or hear. So make it a practice to stop, center yourself and then step into the interaction with professionalism and maturity.

Clustering

The mistake is developing professional friendships only with those in your immediate department or at your level. Obviously it is most comfortable not to stray outside your age or proximity comfort zone. After all, why hang with someone who is so different than you? Career mobility, that’s why. You never know who – or how – or when another person might be the key to your next move. Or – and this is just as likely – you’ll be the key to theirs. It’s all about give and take as you shape your career. Don’t put all your eggs in the “just like me” basket.

Change? Forget It!

The mistake is being unwilling to change. Business situations are like little islands of culture, complete with accepted and unaccepted practices. It won’t take long for you to observe how things work on your company island and, even if people won’t tell you so directly, a person who says, “That’s just the way I am. Everyone else can just get used to it!” will be limited to permanent outsider. This is not to say that employees can’t be unique; it just means that if you stray too far from standard behaviors, you’re likely to be booted off the island.

But You Owe Me

The mistake is thinking that your company owes you more than you owe the company. All of us have worked long hours, gone above and beyond the call of duty and felt – not that secretly – that the company “owed us one.” While that might be true for the moment, companies have notoriously bad memories and it’s very likely that a year from now, no one will remember what you did. Instead they will ask, “What have you done for me lately?” That may seem unfair but older workers will tell you that it is true. Remember, you work for a “company” and companies aren’t your family. So, keep doing a great job but do not get obsessed with keeping mental reciprocity records. That will just turn you into a bitter old guy no one wants to be around. (I know. You’ve already met that guy.)

“NOW” – Think

The mistake is in making decisions that might be good in the short-term but are the wrong decisions for your long-term career and future marketability. As a young person myself, I once decided between two job offers because one of them paid $200 more than the other. Two hundred dollars. Per year. (Yikes.) For your career to reward you as it should, you’ve got to be oriented toward the long-term potential as you make career choices. And long-term is probably longer than most young people think. It’s five years away, then ten years away, then retirement age. You cannot predict the future but you can seek out industries, technologies and locations that have not good but great future potential. Keep up with the changes and make your moves earlier rather than later. Use a logical method for choosing between your alternatives. (For a video about a tool I highly recommend, the Decision Making Matrix, see www.working-together-better.com.)

That’s It

That wraps up my summary of the top Ten Mistakes Young People Make at Work and How to Avoid Them. I hope this short investment of your time has given you some things to think about but more importantly some things to do differently. (If you have employees that should hear this information, we have an on-site training program based on this material. Ask for our catalog.)

Until next time, let’s keep on Working Together Better.

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Jean Houston Shore works with organizations that want their people to work together better. She can be reached at 770-643-9724, by email at jean@thinkbusiness.com or through her website at www.working-together-better.com. Ask for your free copy of her book Working Together Better.

Copyright © 2010, Jean Houston Shore, Business Resource Group. All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used without prior written permission.

Here are some other reasons you may want to think twice about hiring your friend.

It May Not Be Fair To Your Friend

Your friend deserves the best chance at workplace success, just like you do. By accepting a job with some level of personal entanglement, he has complicated his life too. Not only will others wonder if he got the job on his own merit, he’ll have a harder time proving himself to the team. He’ll wonder if his coworkers are candid in his presence, since people might clam up if they think their comments will quickly reach your ears. This keeps him from fully participating in the work team and may keep him from getting the information he needs to be successful. One kind of information he will likely miss is truthful feedback about his performance, because team members only give honest feedback to one another when they feel safe. His friendship with you may threaten their safety.

Its Hard to Be Objective

And anyway, how objective can you really be about this person? You have insider information about him that can’t help but cloud your judgment. Depending on the mistake you make this might work for him or it could work against him. For example, if you know that he struggles to maintain his diet and exercise resolutions, you might unfairly consider his workplace follow-through suspect; this is being unnecessarily tough on him. Or since you know just how tough his childhood was you might give him the benefit of the doubt way too often; this is being too lenient and not holding him accountable. Other employee’s motivation will drop if they perceive that the friend/employee plays under a different set of rules. Your lack of objectivity can become a real problem if you are comparing his performance to that of his peers, recommending him for a special assignment or doling out pay raises. There’s also the question of whether he will be willing and able to receive performance feedback from you and whether you will be willing and able to receive performance feedback from him. It could be difficult for both of you.

Relationship Limits Precedents

There’s plenty of precedent for limiting personal relationships in the workplace. The military has a long tradition of limiting relationships between officers and enlisted personnel, something they call anti-fraternization. In investigating whether a relationship between two persons has violated military policy, several factors are considered. If the relationships “compromises the chain of command, results in the appearance of partiality or otherwise undermines good order, discipline, authority or morale” those involved may be punished.

Many corporations, too, have anti-fraternization policies which strictly limit relationships with competitors, thus avoiding even the appearance of impropriety. Others prohibit dating or cohabiting between employees. However, legal provisions of the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA) guarantee employees to right to self-organize and discuss terms and conditions of employment so anti-fraternization policies go too far if they severely restrict employee friendships outside of work.

In our court system, judges are expected to recuse themselves (to disqualify themselves from presiding over a proceeding) if they have a conflict of interest or a personal involvement in the matter. The judge reviews the general facts of the case and determines whether or not he or she can truly be impartial, declining to rule if not objective.

But maybe you just want to try to make it work anyway. How to do that follows in Part 3 of Should You Work with Friends.

–Jean

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Jean Houston Shore works with organizations that want their people to work together better. She can be reached at 770-643-9724, by email at jean@thinkbusiness.com or through her website at www.working-together-better.com.

Copyright © 2010, Jean Houston Shore, Business Resource Group. All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used without prior written permission.

So let’s say you’ve read Parts 1 and 2 of this article series and you’ve thought carefully about the situation from all angles. Here’s your task list for managing the situation effectively.

Ways to Make It Work

If you and your friend decide to move forward with transforming your personal friendship into a professional relationship, here are some tips for making it work:

• Avoid the temptation to hide your pre-existing relationship from other workers. While simply pretending there is no entanglement might seem expedient, you’ll likely be found out. Not disclosing the relationship will destroy the trust others have placed in both of you. Don’t hide the facts.
• Let the new hire stand on his own and encourage him to prove his qualifications as quickly as possible. Instruct him to get up to speed as fast as he can. Tell team members to expect him to contribute. If practical, assign a team member to acclimate him to the work processes; do not give him special treatment or more-than-usual personalized attention.
• Jointly define new boundaries with your friend and his spouse about what will and will not be discussed in personal friendship time. Recognize that one employee’s spouse may speak too freely to the other employee’s spouse and jeopardize both the work and personal relationships. Strictly honor these new boundaries.
• Also define what is and is not appropriate communication during work time. The pranks, lightheartedness and fun that characterize friendships can seriously confuse established work patterns and undermine credibility if others perceive that professionalism is lacking between the two of you.
• Monitor the impact that the new hire (your friend) is having on the workplace. Give feedback to him or to others if things are not going well.
• Agree in advance to let the friendship and/or the working relationship end with dignity and honor if it must. Commit to one another that, even if things do not work out as well as hoped, both of you will refer to one another respectfully and with gratefulness for having explored the opportunity.

While many studies show the mental and physical benefits of social connectedness, recent research shows that the average Americans’ circle of friends continues to shrink. If the friend who is hinting that he’d like a job is one of your inner circle, a confidant with whom you’d discuss important personal matters, use caution when putting that relationship at risk.

Please share your comments. And keep on Working Together Better!

–Jean

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Jean Houston Shore works with organizations that want their people to work together better. She can be reached at 770-643-9724, by email at jean@thinkbusiness.com or through her website at www.working-together-better.com.

Copyright © 2010, Jean Houston Shore, Business Resource Group. All Rights Reserved Internationally. No portion may be reprinted or used without prior written permission.

As children we learned to look both ways at railroad crossings; the school bus driver would sometimes wait for an eternity for us to be quiet. Making sure to do everything she could to keep us safe from an coming train, our leader looked carefully and listened intently for danger signals.

Your workplace may be sending danger signals to you, too. Sometimes coping problems come from personal situations and affect only one or two team members. When that’s the case you should coach the employees individually. But sometimes, thanks to a more widespread disturbance like a merger or industry meltdown, coping challenges saturate your whole work unit.

Here are twelve signs your workplace may face a coping crisis:

Fretting: In normal times, moaning, whining and moping are not appreciated or tolerated. If fretting behavior becomes so widespread that it begins to seem normal, it’s time to intervene. (more…)

Recently I ran across a letter I wrote but never sent. It was addressed to an industry acquaintance I worked with periodically. I wasn’t sure she would be able to “hear” what I was trying to say; I imagined that my letter might just make the situation worse. So I never sent the letter.

Here was the situation that caused me to write the woman I’ll call Janice. In my view, Janice really needed to get her act together. She had gone through a difficult personal time – all would agree on that. However, it was my belief that her publicizing of personal troubles in industry settings had gone on for far too long. (more…)

Transmissions, pistons, and filters rarely get top billing on car commercials but everyone knows that a failure in one of these can quickly require a tow truck. Service departments organize their maintenance of your complicated vehicle by inspecting each of the important systems regularly. Just like your car’s systems work together, your work group harnesses individual skills, motivation and effort to a create results that are greater than the sum of its parts. Here are ten things to check to evaluate your group’s collaboration competence:

1. Proximity: Members of your team must have ready access to one another live, via phone and via email. While synchronous (real-time) team communication is best, even asynchronous can work as long as team members check and respond to messages promptly. (more…)

While the term custodian often refers to the person who cleans and maintains a building, custodian can also mean one who safeguards and protects any company asset. For example, a custodian bank holds equities and bonds in safekeeping, all the while collecting and disseminating information about the condition of those assets to interested others. For years companies have trumpeted that “our employees are our most valuable asset.” If that is true, what should you be doing as a manager (or custodian) of that asset? (more…)

One of the most pervasive productivity-sapping workplace habits I see is something I call “truth reluctance.” Lots of people know something should be said, but no one is willing to step up and get the issue out in the open.

Here’s an example:

Susie’s job was “reorganized” in a merging of two departments three years ago. But still, after all this time, Susie gripes to coworkers about how unfair the restructuring was. Everyone around her wishes she would just move on and get to the business at hand. But no one, including Susie’s new manager, has the guts to tell Susie the truth. As a result, Susie’s coworkers scatter when they see her coming. She is in danger of being marginalized by her own poor behavior and she doesn’t even know it.

In this situation, two things are missing. First, workplace participants don’t realize how much they are hurting themselves by being truth reluctant. They somehow feel that cushioning Susie’s feelings is a noble choice. Second, they aren’t sure speaking honestly with Susie would do any good, even if they were willing to do it. While the first concern is simply invalid, the second has some merit, because if Susie doesn’t receive the feedback well, you may have taken an unwise chance by speaking up.

Here are three parts of the situation you can monitor to give your feedback to Susie a fighting chance:

Trust: For your feedback to make a difference, it should rest on a foundation of mutual trust between you and Susie – a situation where you trust her and she trusts you. To develop a mutually beneficial working relationship requires “deposits” of actions, services or products the other person values. Professors Allan Cohen and David Bradford, in their book Influence Without Authority, call these deposits “currency.” Steven Covey referred to a similar idea in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People as keeping track of an “Emotional Bank Account.” Whatever you call it, careful giving and receiving within a trusting relationship can help build even more trust.

Timing: Feedback should always be given privately and at a time when distracting workplace stress is minimized. If the person to whom you wish to give feedback needs to temporarily opt-out because the timing isn’t right, allow that. Choose to catch up with Susie at a later, more agreeable time.

Tone: The words you choose to use when delivering a piece of feedback to a colleague are of vital importance. A good way to start could be, “Susie, because I care about you and your work here, I want you to hear this feedback from me.” After beginning in this reassuring way, be sure your feedback session includes the following segments:

• Your desire that Susie listen to and thoughtfully consider the feedback you will give.
• The specific behavior that needs to change and when you have observed it.
• The impact or effect that the behavior is currently having on: the workplace, you (the feedback giver), customers, and/or Susie’s reputation and career potential.

Whether or not you currently have a Susie situation in your workplace, you will someday be tempted to be “truth reluctant.” But if you consider trust, timing and tone, you can be the person courageous enough to say what everyone else was thinking. That’s the only way to make things better, for Susie and for everyone.

I’ve said before that “Feedback is the food work teams live on.” If a group can’t give (and receive) honest performance feedback, productivity gains are just about impossible. While there is a simple model you can use for giving feedback effectively, there are, in my experience, four types of people who will have a hard time hearing you, even if you use the model perfectly. Here’s what to do for each type.

1) People who have been hurt by feedback in the past and are living in fear that they’ll be hurt again.

A woman I know won’t even listen if someone starts to offer her some “constructive criticism.” The prospect of hearing something negative strikes such a fear in her that she will actually remove herself from the situation rather than hear feedback. If this sounds like someone on your work team, there are three things you can try:

• Demonstrate that not all feedback is negative – by giving her some practice in receiving positive feedback.
• Explain that she must become strong enough to receive both negative and positive feedback if she hopes to grow and advance in her career.
• Make sure that the feedback you choose to give her is substantial and important. Do not spend your time “nit-picking.”

2) People who think they know it all.

Almost every workplace has a person others describe as “arrogant” and if you have some constructive feedback to give to this guy, expect some push-back. Here’s what to try:

• Gather evidence to figure out whether this person is overstating his intelligence or whether he is truly a superstar. If applicable, use what you learn to prove that they should be open to your input.
• Teach this person to give helpful, constructive feedback to others. Let them practice explaining “behavior impacts” to others.
• Hold this person responsible for demonstrating that they have internalized the feedback you have given them.

3) People who don’t value the opinions of others.

Often, less experienced workers have a dogmatic, “my-way-or-the-highway” lens through which they see the world. If you are dealing with this situation, try these ideas:

• Coach them to identify and explain the value of the differing perspectives of those in your work team. Discuss the concept of pluralism in American society.
• Have them practice explaining the “impact statements” others might use to describe their behaviors.
• Remove this person from direct management of others until he or she can demonstrate an appreciation for differing viewpoints.

4) People who are currently in personal crisis.

If there is someone in your work group facing something serious in personal or professional life, they might be having trouble coping. Adding your constructive feedback to the mix could have unfavorable results.

• Defer giving feedback temporarily so that they can concentrate on coping successfully.
• Give this person room to grow, but also assign a deadline by which you expect them to have come to terms with the situation they face.
• Refer the person to whatever external resources your organization has in place such as the Employee Assistance Program.

Part of your job as a workplace leader is giving people the feedback they need to perform successfully. By planning ahead for the four types of people who can’t hear feedback, you’ll be able to get those vital messages through – eventually.

In over twenty years of working with clients in various industries, I’ve seen some of the same problems pop up over and over. This blog will allow me to share some of those problems (and their potential solutions) with a wider audience. Feel free to comment here, whether you agree or disagree with my conclusions.Some of the topics I expect to cover are:

• Leadership (When Leaders Fail to Lead)
• Coping Skills (How Those Who Fail To Cope Affect All of Us)
• Feedback (The Magic of Making Teams Work)
• Performance Measures (Why Measuring the Right Things May Not Be Easy)
• Motivation (How to Engage Employees So They Are Productive and Happy)
• Reward and Recognition (How Handling These Things Poorly Wastes Everyone’s Time)

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